Monday, April 7, 2014

Mind Games

Today was a normal day with general routine. I think most of you must have watched the cricket match yesterday. I watched a finals after a long time. I really liked yesterday's match not because of the way India played, but I was able to teach my son Indian National Anthem. He was all excited to sing the line "Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya hey" because my official name is "Jaya", he thought this song was in my name.
I think most of you know that one's own  "mind" is his/her enemy. My mind plays a lot of games with me. I want to highlight one game that my  mind  plays often with me "GUILT".Some instances  that I would like to point out where I was guilty are
* During school days if I did not study before exams and scored less  I will be guilty about it
*During college days I have felt guilty for some of my actions (I am sure all of you will have something)
* Then after I got married when I was not working I felt guilty that I was not contributing money to the family

*Now after becoming a mom I play this game more often than usual. After a kid is born the mother has the most responsibility in comforting the kid. Dads can help but not in all areas.
*If you have read this post (http://preethi-pretty.blogspot.com/2014/03/feeding-schedule-from-newborn-1-yr-old.html), I felt very guilty when I had to switch my son to formula.
* I am a working mom so whenever I left my kids in the day care and when they cry very badly I used to feel so guilty about it.
*If my kids stay in day care for long hours then, I will feel guilty about it that I am not spending enough time with them.
*When work demands long hours if I dont see them when I come back then I will feel guilty about it.
*If I choose not to complete something at work and come home early to be with my kids that also makes me guilty that I am missing work.
* When my kids do something wrong and when I scream/shout at them I feel really guilty after that.
*When my kids dont eat what I make then I feel guilty that I am not providing them good food.
The list goes on and on. I realized that I cant live this way feeling guilty for every single thing. So I just keep telling myself "You are the best and you are doing your best". This simple mantra works well for me and helps me overcome these guilty feelings. Anything related to kids is really hard to overcome. Especially staying long hours in day care. So when they are home I try my best to spend time with them yeah "TIME" is always the most difficult thing to find. I just want to know if you all moms also feel this or it is only me??.
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