Saturday, March 28, 2015

How to handle parents/in-laws leaving after childbirth

This year  also Sesame street "Let us Dance !!!" is coming to Austin. We went to this show  last year and our kids really loved it.There is a groupon that you should not miss Sesame Street Live. $22 ticket is for $12.Also there are a lot of 5$ deals in groupon that might interest you check these out Groupon 5$ a day deal.

My mom and my in-laws came to help us after the birth of  my son and daughter. As  the day for them to leave approached , I always panicked. When my son was born my mom left us when he was around 4 months and I still remember how I used to pester my mom and literally beg her to stay for some more days. I was worried as to how I was going to handle it all.

Last time when my in laws were about to leave my son was 2 1/2 years old and my daughter was 6 months old.Their flight got cancelled  and we extended their stay for a  week. I was so happy that they were going to be with us for one more week.  Though I know that I managed previously without help, I was worried about handling 2 kids now. I have two of my friends who are facing this situation and are very worried about it. Hope this post helps them and also others.




Some things that helped me to cope up are:
*I always told myself  that they cant stay forever with us . They have to leave at some point and that point is now and I have to be mentally prepared for it.
*I did not decide to have a baby based on their availability to help. It was so nice of them to come and do so much for me and now I have to take up responsibility.
*If  I am upset everyone including my spouse and kids are going to be upset. So I try to be calm and will tell myself "This too shall pass".
*Before they left I tried to come up with a list and a schedule on what important things I should get done everyday for the baby.
*If you are going to start a day care for your kid after they leave, start it a week before they leave so you get an idea of what to expect and in case the baby falls sick you have help at home.
* I was on bonding leave with my son for 2 months and I used to take him out whenever the weather was good. Also I joined  post natal yoga where I met other moms who were sailing in the same boat as me.
*I made a checklist of things for which I can get help
         *Dropping and picking up older  kid from school ( I hired a nanny for this)
          *Grocery shopping: If you have a small list and you know that your neighbor or someone will go shopping try to ask them if they can help out.
          *Find someone who cooks food for dinner so you dont have to worry about dinner (I used to get dabba service from someone who used to cook food and sell)
          *Try to find someone who can help you clean the house. (I hired a cleaning lady to tidy my house)
*I formed a network with other mommies and we had a play date at one of our friends house every Friday afternoon. I used to vent out there and also get some tips on how to handle some situations from other mommies. It really helped me to know that I was not alone.I wish I can do that now :)

Dont worry on how to manage things in  long term. When your kids are very young every day and every week counts. Try to take it day by day. Also don't plan something everyday and burn yourself out. Try to get all the help you can so you can march slowly towards that "one year" milestone. Once kids can walk and eat other solid foods and sleep more at nights you will feel a lot better. Hang in there it gets better.
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